I’m not taken. I’m in a relationship, but I’m not taken.
He doesn’t steal me away from any dreams.
He doesn’t tell me who I can and can’t be friends with, or who I can and can’t cultivate myself to be.
He didn’t pry me out of my own life to be in a relationship with him, or force me to do anything, in any manner, at any point in time. He didn’t strip me of my roots and soil for his own benefit.
He doesn’t pressure me into anything. A n y t h i n g. (Maybe ice cream sometimes… But I’m cool with that).
He did not and does not “take” me, (except out to dinner, or mini golfing, or as a plus one to weddings). Cool with that too.
Our relationship is not ownership. He has not stolen me away from things I love or enjoy, and I believe that one of the things he fears is suffocating my freedom. I fear that for him, too.
It’s only really a concern because when you’re with someone, it seems like there is suddenly a whole array of things you can’t experience anymore.
However, if you’re with someone you’re truly compatible with, this will prove untrue.
You can still experience different things and different places, and if you want to do it alone, they’ll understand.
You can still pursue goals and dreams.
You can take time away from them, have space to yourself, spend time with your pals without them, go see a movie by yourself or with someone else if they’re not interested in it, the list goes on and on and on.
Fact is, if you are as compatible as you think you are, you must have similar values and see eye to eye on most things. The big things.
That’s the best way to have a relationship as opposed to ownership.
Relationships are divine when two people come together to love infinitely, without reason or expectation. To love fully, the way you love a welcome wind on a blistering sunny day. Or a shady tree.
Perhaps we don’t know the reason, but we do know that love blossoms like the planet does. We don’t really know where it starts or stops, it’s just always there, waiting longingly for you to peer in and beckon it out.
Open the box. Set it free.
It’s the force that pulls plants towards the sunshine, and people towards each other.
It’s the thing that allows water to nourish roots, the way love nourishes our soul.
We indulge in a mutually beneficial, loving relationship, blessed with bliss and sunshine and human-ness.
He pushes me towards my dreams, and works towards his own.
I can go out with friends without him without any contempt or concern.
I can spend time away if I need or want, not out of anger or because I’m sick of him in any way, but because we all need time to take care of our Selves. And guess what? No hard feelings, he gets it. And if he needs that, I get it too.
The time will come when things are not so easy, but the lengths to which love and respect can take two people are YUGE.
I said yuge, but I’m serious folks… Ladies, fierce femmes, guys and gals near and far, the one you seek is seeking you.
Once you’re in a relationship but not taken, then you will know harmony, and you will never go back to less than you deserve.
Just remember to love yourself first. That’s the best way to love someone else.
And remember to love others. That’s the best way to love yourself.
What comes around, goes around…