Our lives are sort of like quilts. They start out small (as do we), and as we grow, our lives (er, quilts…) follow suit.
Initially, your Quilt will be comprised of the things you are born with. There will be pictures of your ancestors and snippets from the culture that raised generations before you – some of which you may hold dearly onto.
There will be the color of our skin, representations of poverty or wealth (depending on which we were born into), drawings of our eyes and beating hearts, and something that tells us to be afraid of loud noises and falling (since those are the only two fears we’re really born with).
Our quilts start off as bits and pieces of the people that made us – mom and dad, and all before them – and start to grow as we’re raised. After years of development and outsiders making adjustments without our permission or praise, we learn that we are free to change and mend our quilts.
I love this analogy because the quilts serve as a symbol of our lives – our Universe, our realities – and although it may take some deconstructing, time, and mending, we can create change in our Quilts. These changes can be additions (a new hobby?), replacements (out with the old, in the with the new!), or pieces we decide to toss out (values and ideals we never really agreed with but grew up learning).
These adjustments can be stitches wide or can replace entire sections – depending on how prominent you want the change to be.
When we change our Quilts of Life, the Universe will recognize it and follow our lead, reinforcing the threads we made and creating ones we might have missed along the way.
Sometimes, there may be trouble. Perhaps the Universe throws in uneven lines, or extra puffy sections. Perhaps the thread snaps.
Disgruntled, you’ll probably look at your quilt and let out a whole bunch of “Ahh, what the CUSS!”
But once you let that out, you’ll make the choice to either change it, or keep on quilting with what you got.
We have troubles, every aching one of us, and so many times we worry about leading the perfect life, or being the perfect person… When there’s just as much beauty (if not more) in the bumps and jagged edges.
If you want to make a perfect quilt, or lead a perfect life, that’s easy – make it perfect for YOU. Change what you might. Fix what you will. Update and sew and add and subtract… But don’t worry too much about the next guy or gal will think (their quilt won’t be perfect either).
Imperfection IS perfect! It’s what makes us all unique, adds variety into our lives, and keeps the world spinning in a nice, interesting fashion.
Our quilts can contain what we say and do, habits we create, people we influence (or who we allow to influence us), and every other thing that we go through. We are given materials and we do with them whatever we can (and choose).
Here are just a few pieces of fabric that can make your quilt less enjoyable to make. There are some phrases and habits holding you back from releasing your creativity, upgrading your Quilt of Life, and creating eternal bliss…
If your life is hard, watch out for these thoughts that may be making it more difficult than it has to be.
1. “I am so much better than that.”
Although this one might help people ignore juvenile dramas and hesitate to saying something rude back to a bully or hypocrite (hopefully this is the case!), it is bred of the same entities that thrive in misunderstanding and divide.
This way of thinking can potentially blind us of our ability to seek to understand another perspective, situation, or person. Since no real problems are solved by saying what you are, but are solved instead by seeking to understand how the other person feels, you are never “better. You are just different – but remember, not by much (we’re all guilty of being human – thanks for that one, Joe Rogan).
*insert photo of coop quote*
2. “I have the worst luck.”
“Nobody else is going through what I am going through.”
It’s easy to feel that way, isn’t it? Lots of things go wrong. That’s what life does. It teaches you hard lessons, and it’ll test you on those lessons again and again to see if you’ve learned. Once you pass one, it’ll send you on to the next – a sort of “stack” of graduated classes – a never ending curve of learning and leveling up.
We are nothing but students, only in Earth’s classroom for a fleeting moment in the grand scheme of things, and our purpose, really, is to do whatever the hell we want to do to better love our lives.
Unfortunately, friend, the world doesn’t owe you anything. It has given you all the materials you need, and now it is up to you to decide what to do with them.
3. “I deserve special treatment because x, y, z.”
If you partake in entitled thoughts, it has the potential to rob you dry of all the things you love, including family, friends, jobs, and all around likability.
People who think the world owes them something often treat other people like garbage because they feel like they’ve earned that right… But that’s wrong. You have the right to behave in whatever way you please, but you can’t behave any way you please and be treated any better than that (not for long, anyway).
We earn the way people treat us by practicing the golden rule – treating others the way you want to be treated. This means humans, animals, and Earth. The Universe is a mirror – it is you, and you are it – and whatever you put out will be boomeranged back to you.
You earn your treatment – you don’t inherently receive kind treatment by being born. You earn it. YOU EARN IT.
4. “I can’t.”
If you can sit down, strap in, and ride the turbulence through your struggles, consequences, and problems (like any one of the rest of us), you can do whatever you want.
You have been given the materials. The world is at your fingertips. No matter your situation, you can turn it into something you love.
You can choose from all the fabric in the world. Create your own patterns. Stitch your own quilt.
We all can.
Don’t be afraid to be an individual – this life is yours. Create it. Live it. Love it.
Photo by Dinh Pham on Unsplash