Rocky Road is my favorite ice cream.
Y’know, even in light of the bumps and potholes (er, um, almonds and stuff).
As a matter of fact, the “Rocky” part is the best thing about it.
It brings dullness out of the monotony of regular old chocolate ice cream (a classic that I always go back to).
In life (and especially in relationships, I’ve come to learn), there are bumps and really hard stretches, and then sometimes it eases up. And this happens over and over and over again.
Just like eating Rocky Road.
And that’s how my relationship has been. It was really good at first. Classic, even. Chocolate. And then someone threw some almonds in, along with some sticky mallows.
We tried an open relationship on the premise that it would help us. It didn’t.
At first I crunched on through okay.
And then I started pretending like I was crunching on through okay, but there were too many almonds and marshmallows, and the smooth chocolate seemed outweighed. There was too much going on for me to understand.
I bit off way more than I could chew (yeah, I bite my ice cream). Contrary to our intent, the open relationship made it way worse, on his end and mine.
Who made this ice cream? This fucking sucks.
As it turns out, I was the one who made the ice cream. After all, I was the one who had allowed this all to happen, so it was all my fault in my mind.
And I was so ashamed that I tried to run, once, twice, three times.
Oh, and did I mention I tried to run yet again?
Instead of solving the problems I had caused, I tried leaving them. Four times.
And this made me feel even worse, like I was quitting. Especially considering the fact that I would be quitting on the most important thing in my life – the one thing that has always meant the most to me: love.
I have to be honest, I would be heavily disappointed if the person who made Rocky Road just kinda stopped because they messed up once or twice or three times.
So after moving the majority of my stuff out and running to my grandma all pale faced and red eyed, I talked to her and made a discovery.
Everyone has problems, and if you love someone, you learn from your mistakes and you learn to forgive – not only them, but yourself, too.
But if your problems are bad enough, the you have every damn right to leave your relationship.
If you’re being abused, homie, get out of there.
I did. And my life is 100x better.