Humans are always looking for something to blame their troubles on. We look to other people, mostly, but sometimes we’ll point at the world and our life in general, as if we have no control over it.
I mean. There are some things we can’t control – big things, for example, like tragedy, death, disease… Those big double-whammies.
Big double-whammies aside, we are all given a Quilt of Life – free for us to change and mend as we choose. It is our piece of artwork and we can do with it what we please.
Initially, this Quilt will be the things we are born with. There will be pictures of our ancestors and our culture – some of which we will hold dear to. There will be portrayals of ideals of our immediate family. There will be the color of our skin, representations of poverty or wealth (depending on which we were born into), drawings of our eyes and hands and feet, and something that tells us to be afraid of loud noises and falling (since those are the only two fears we’re really born with).
The Quilts are our Universes, and although it may take some deconstructing, time, and mending, we can create change in our Quilts. These changes can be stitches wide or can replace entire sections. When we change our Quilts of Life, the Universe will recognize it and follow our lead, reinforcing the threads we made and creating ones we might have missed along the way.
Our lives are really a means of expressing the creativities we hold deep within ourselves (yeah, everyone has them, most people just don’t really tap into them). By the end, the goal is to have a Quilt your proud of as it wraps around you, keeping you warm as you smile through your last breaths.
Here are just a few things holding you back from releasing your creativity, upgrading your Quilt of Life, and creating eternal bliss.
1. “I am so much better than that.” Although this one might help people ignore juvenile dramas and hesitate to saying something rude back to a bully or hypocrite, it is bred of the same entities that thrive in misunderstanding and divide. This way of thinking entirely blinds us of our ability to seek to understand another perspective, situation, or person. Since no real problems are solved by saying what you are, but instead, by seeking to understand how the other person feels, you are never “better.” You are just different – but remember, not by much.
2. “I have the worst luck. Nobody else is going through what I am going through.” It’s easy to feel that way, isn’t it? Lots of things go wrong. That’s what life does. It teaches you hard lessons, and it’ll test you on those lessons to see if you’ve learned. Once you pass one, it’ll send you on to the next – a sort-of rack of graduated classes – a never ending curve of learning. We are nothing but students, only on Earth’s classroom for a fleeting moment in the grand scheme of things, and our purpose, really, is to do whatever the hell we want to do to better love our Quilts of Life. So, up yours, with that whole luck thing. The world doesn’t owe you anything, and you can do whatever you decide to do.
3. “I deserve special treatment because x, y, z.” Erm, no, you don’t. This is an entirely narcissistic way of thinking and will rob you dry of all the things you love, including family, friends, jobs, and all around likability. People who think the world owes them something, often treat other people like shit because they feel like they’ve earned that right. For example: my mother’s disrespect to me as a child was a constant in my life’s equation. Every time she yelled, it was because she was the parent. She actually believed she deserved respect from me no matter how she treated me for the simple fact that she birthed me. Nope, even parenthood can’t grant you special treatment.
4. “No, I can’t. I really can’t.” Hmm. You can’t, or you don’t want to? Truth is, you can totally do whatever you want. Actually. There are no limits. Just remember that there are always consequences to your actions, and there will be problems no matter where you go. If you can sit down, strap in, and ride the turbulence through your struggles, consequences, and problems (like any one of the rest of us), you can do whatever you want. So suck up your stupid excuses.
There are plenty more, but these are the four that, by ridding my life of, I have completely erased my hesitation in changing my Quilt of Life. I’m mending it, slowly but surely, and the movement, growth, and change of it have all become the purpose of my life.
Since I’ve stopped thinking these things, I have become more productive, more invested in my job, relationships, and dreams, and have become much less sensitive to hardship and loss.
Practice, practice, practice, my friends. And create a Quilt you’re proud of.
If you had trouble swallowing numbers 1 through 3, I recommend reading my other most recent post: You’re Not Genuine or Special (Yet) and Neither Am I: 4 Steps to Figuring it the F**k Out