I’m a culprit, I know.
I’ve been running from love since the first time it was concealed behind lies and contempt. I ran because I spent a lot of time believing that I was a victim in a scheme formed by big bad wolves who liked to break girls’ hearts and watch them fall.
I’ve been running from love, hiding in the darkest corners when its light shined, and I’ve been holding back love simply because someone once told me I was “too affectionate.” What does that mean? It fucked with my head for awhile. Everything I did, I wondered, “Is this too much?”
Why in the HECK did that person think he had to right to say that to me? If you aren’t a fan of affection, then you can kindly get out of my life, because affection and love are two of the most important things to me and two of the things I can give the most of.
I don’t have a lot of money. I don’t have a lot of material things. I cannot supply you with those.
What I can supply you with is the knowledge that you are cared about more than you know, that you are capable of incredible things and you have so much to look forward to because you are the epitome of beauty even amidst all of your flaws and you are truth among lies.
I am angry with this person who told me I was too affectionate. Maybe it wasn’t me at all, maybe it was him. Love, to ourselves and to those around us, is the most rewarding and most important thing to our mental health. All anyone wants is food (sorry, this needs to come first because we need to satisfy our primal needs), water, shelter, and love.
(Of course, you, and I, and the guy over there, we all have days where we just want one more pair of knee high socks. We just want that one super cute romper. We want that one fifth of vodka. We want want want all these material things without recognizing the thing that is the most important to us. It is the one thing we all have in common).
We all want love. We all want to give love and receive love. There is no denying that.
So how can one possibly be “too affectionate?” Well you know what I say? Screw that, man. To HAY with that guy who told me I was. To HAY with him because it ALMOST robbed me of my extreme capacity to love, it dropped that down and I am angry because I am sorry if I ever went too long without letting you know that you matter to me.
Don’t you ever let the people who matter to you forget how valuable they are. I will never ever drop to that level again and you, my friends, have my word that you will always know that you are loved and you matter, if not from anyone else, from me. Yours truly. I love you,